I went to see Madonna on June 5th at the Beacon Theater in New York City and it affected me profoundly. It was a marvelous event. I even got dressed up to the nines. I took these white, distressed jeans I had bought for a fun event at work and dyed them a hot pink. Then after ordering a few shirts off Amazon (and subsequently returning them), I found this beautiful, vibrant purple button-down shirt. The sleeves were of a silky material and the front was a dazzling sequin. To accompany this shirt, I ordered a sleeveless purple (much darker shade than the shirt) vest, which I made even bolder by ironing glittery letters to the back spelling out Madonna’s already iconic command from “I Feel So Free”: Don’t be a vibe kill. I even got the perfect shoes for the outfit. A pair of women’s 13 wide boots. Well, they were almost perfect. I couldn’t find the color I wanted so I had to get them in beige. Thank God I was determined enough to make it work that I thought of dying them…which I did…a beautiful lilac purple. Just the shade of purple Madonna’s own boots were. And of course I decorated the heels with self-adhesive purple rhinestones! I’m sure you are gathering that I was desperately trying to replicate the colors for Madonna’s new era. And to finish the outfit off, the center piece of the whole look, the pièce de résistance: a full length veil covering my whole back and draping over my face down to my chest anchored in place on my head by a black, metal crown.
Sooo dramatic. It was perfect.
Madonna, in true Madonna fashion, took her time to come out. But that was okay. She’s always been worth the wait. And when she finally came out, showed her film, and had her conversation with Anderson Cooper, she not only reminded the whole world why she continues to be the Queen of Pop, but reminded me of what’s missing in my own life.
I’ve always been horrible at multi-tasking. Seems like forever I could only concentrate on just one thing at a time. As a former friend once said of me, “You are an extremist. You can’t just do something you like a little then move on, you have to overdo it.” How true that blurb is.
When I first decided I wanted to be a stand-up comedian, I overdid the thinking about it. Then when I finally started performing, it was all I could really focus on even though at the time I also decided to return to college to become a school teacher as my back-up plan. I couldn’t risk failing at school because the probability of becoming a teacher was a lot higher than the one of becoming an iconic, rich and famous comic, so I stopped performing and went full force into my studies.
Once graduated and finally teaching, I thought this would be a good time to return to my creative side. I wasn’t only a stand-up, I was also a writer, a poet, a YouTuber acting out skits in which I played every character. But I ended up falling madly in love with teaching. And that didn’t really surprised me because becoming a teacher was one of the many things I wanted to be in life. What did surprised me was how good I was at it. My students loved me and felt crazy safe with me. The parents respected me and many of them found it comforting I was their child’s first teacher. I was teaching Pre-K at the time. And before I knew it, a whole 7 years passed since I had last done a show or even a really funny YouTube comedy video.
Then in the year 2021, one year after earning tenure at my district, I thought it was time for me to return to my comedy roots and really live my best life. At this time I had found my future husband and I felt like I had everything. I had a family and my dream, stable career. What’s there to stop me from also becoming the artist I’ve always wanted to be?
Then my mother died.
My mother’s 2021 death shook me to the very core. It not only devastated me, it broke me. It made a functioning zombie out of me. I was able to work, drive, and eat but the world had become fuzzy and blurry to me. And everything was confusing. Frankly, today I find it impressive if not shocking that I was able to do anything at all successfully considering during those first three years nothing made sense to me and everything confused me. And the throbbing! My head wouldn’t stop throbbing. I literally felt like someone was hitting me, PHYSICALLY HITTING ME, over the head with a bat on a daily.
And just as I succumbed to what seemed to be my new reality, one sunny day in July of 2024, the sun found me. I credit my Godsons for that.
Soon afterwards the desired to write returned and I started to feel that tingly feeling I used to feel years before when I would get an idea and couldn’t wait to write it down. I even started writing a new comedy set. These were ideas I played with for the rest of the 2024 and all through 2025 until in December for the latter year, I announced to family and friends I will be returning to stand-up comedy sometime in 2026.
Now here we are in 2026. I still haven’t done a show and I still struggle with multi-tasking. I’m already working on a project I need to finish first before I even consider a set because I’m afraid my extremist side will pop up and force me to abandon the project I started nearly three years ago. But having seen Madonna at the Beacon has actually helped put me back on track. When I was there I almost felt like an old car battery being jump started. The room was electrifying, the energy and vibes were magnetic, the film was PURE ART.
ART.
What’s missing in my life?
ART.
As I watched Madonna on stage, I didn’t always see my queen or my favorite artist, but the importance of creating and being creative. And as simple as that is and sounds, it really affected me profoundly. Just look at this blog entry, it’s my first one since January. Madonna didn’t just served cunt at the Beacon, she served as a reminder that I need to keep my ass focused. With that said, I’m looking to do a show in the fall. The summer will be all about the preparation, the meeting of obligations (e.g. my little project) and of course, recording here the progress of my every step. And if you’ve made it to the end of my blog, I hope you continue to stay, and share this journey with me.
Like Madonna said at the start of her Confessions II film, “Thanks for coming.”
pintospice 
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